In Search of a Happy Ending – Personal Relationships……

Happy Holidays

…… and welcome to my new column, In Search of a Happy Ending! Once a month I’ll bring you my thoughts on a variety of topics that relate to personal relationships and issues.

I’ll also be accepting questions from you, and offering my advice and hard-earned wisdom to anyone who may be struggling with a personal problem and would appreciate a fresh outlook on it. I am not a psychologist, a therapist or a social worker. I live in New York and consider myself a student of life and love—a passionate anthropologist. I am also the person friends and relatives call when they are down and need a lift. I have a knack for helping people feel better, and helping them make sound decisions that improve their lives. In fact, I received accolades for an advice column I wrote under a pseudonym, which you can read all about on my website: http://www.BonnieTrachtenberg.com

As many of you know, I am also the author of an award-winning romantic comedy called Wedlocked: A Novel, which was based on my first brief, disastrous marriage. My second novel is on its way out the door and will launch early next year. It, too, is a romantic comedy. So what does that say about me? It says that I love turning life’s personal struggles into something productive, something that engages people and makes them laugh. I believe in turning lemons into lemonade at all costs! But I won’t just be delving into other people’s personal lives here; mine will often be on display. I’ll reveal my thoughts, dreams, angst, and yes, my neuroses, too! So sit back and fasten your seatbelts, because I’ve had a pretty bumpy life! Here’s just one of the reasons why:

Hello. My name is Bonnie and I’m a dreamaholic. It’s not an easy thing to admit, especially when you’ve lived in a dreamland most of your life. In examining my childhood influences, I found nothing to suggest why I chose a life of fantasy. Nothing, that is, except six heavy electronic boxes, strategically placed around my home. The boxes magically brought to life fantasies and dreams beyond anything my imagination could have managed on its own, and they did it on a daily basis. You see, I’m one of the first generation to grow up under the influence—The Hollywood Influence.

I remember my love affair with fantasy catching fire when I was a quiet, impressionable child of about six. There I was, blotchy and feverish and streaked with calamine lotion when my mother appeared with some toast, and with a flick of a switch brought me Bewitched. That was the first time I became acquainted with the beautiful witch from the suburbs who could conjure up her heart’s content with twitchy finesse. This wasn’t entertainment; it was the ideal life, something that if I longed for fervently enough, and could suspend my disbelief long enough, might just be possible. Samantha wasn’t an apparition. She was an aspiration.

Getting older didn’t help. I continued to expect life to mimic those romantic ideals I celebrated. My first love met me every Friday night like clockwork, and even serenaded me, but joining the David Cassidy Fan Club presented my first ugly brush with reality. To them, I was just another fan they thought they could placate with a poster. My tastes became more refined right about the time I found the next Cassidy. Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid brought to life by Paul Newman and Robert Redford—the real dynamic duo—were almost too much for my heart to bear. How could I possibly choose between two perfect specimens in the same fantasy? I didn’t. I became a two-timer, and these characters became the models for what I looked for in a relationship.

As I began dating, I wasn’t aware that my men were chosen for their bigger-than-life qualities. It never dawned on me that I chased after hard-to-get guys because they reminded me of the images I could never grasp off the screen. Therefore, the people I picked: an undercover FBI agent, an elusive millionaire, and even a Hollywood movie producer, didn’t make especially good partners. By the time I was into my 30s, part of me was saying, “Find someone real and accept his faults,” but the dreamaholic was screaming, “Don’t give up! Mr. Perfect is out there waiting for you!”

It wasn’t until I hit forty that I met the man who would convince me it was okay to face reality. He was a good friend who understood and appreciated the real me, someone only good friends—and not potential mates—ever got a chance to see. Miraculously, we fell in love and it was more wonderful than anything I’d experienced before.

Now I’m able to accept the fact that I’ll never capture the perfection I longed for, because it only exists in the imagination of writers like me. But that’s okay, because accepting the faults of a mortal man let me be much more human. Now, I can focus on the good things I have, instead of the unattainable things I don’t—and what I have is all the more special because it’s real.

If you would like Bonnie to offer some advice on your personal relationship issue, contact her at loveahappyending.com@gmail.com

To find out more about Bonnie visit:-

Author page: http://loveahappyending.co.uk/bonnie-trachtenberg/

Author Website: http://www.bonnietrachtenberg.com/
Author Blog:  http://www.BonnieTrachtenberg.com/Bonnies-blog
Author Facebook Page: http://www.Facebook.com/BonnieTrachtenberg
Novel Facebook Page: http://www.Facebook.com/Wedlocked
Twitter A/c @writebrainedny: https://twitter.com/#!/writebrainedny

Please leave a comment

  1. Sue uden Says:

    Congratulations. A lovely post. I often think of Samantha. And even more often wish I had her powers. I seem to remember that she had a clever little way of twitching her nose to bring about the magic solution to all problems. Seems like I haven’t totally grounded myself in reality yet :-). Are we allowed to speak of you as Love A Happy Ending’s Agony Aunt, Bonnie, or would you not like that?

  2. Linn B Halton Says:

    Well I think Bonnie’s first topic of conversation is likely to strike a chord with a lot of women out there… and talking about things is cathartic – a bit like writing it all in a letter and then tearing it up. It’s more about getting it out, rather than keeping it locked inside.

  3. Bonnie Trachtenberg Says:

    Thanks Sue. Sure, Agony Aunt is fine with me. Thanks for getting the word out! Thanks for your thoughts, Linn. I agree!

  4. Bonnie Trachtenberg » Blog Archive » Who Doesn’t Love a Happy Ending? Says:

    […] column, In Search of a Happy Ending, begins today, and on a monthly basis I’ll be offering my unique take on a wide scope of personal […]

  5. Author G.E. Johnson Says:

    Congratulations, Bonnie! I will definitely be tuning in to read your thoughts and glean from your wisdom.

  6. elizabeth Says:

    Bonnie – great first column, you are doing a great public service in the area of love and real happy endings.
    BTW – my brother is David Cassidy- maybe not the singer, but my brother, David Cassidy, is way cooler. elizabeth

  7. Bonnie Trachtenberg Says:

    Thank you all! Elizabeth, can you send me a poster of your brother for my bedroom wall? 😉

  8. Patricia Sands Says:

    Great idea Bonnie and you certainly have a wealth of experience upon which to draw. I know this is going to be a very busy spot on the LAHE website!

  9. Linn B Halton Says:

    It would be interesting if people wrote in about their ‘Mister Perfect’…… if you’ve found him, share those qualities with Bonnie. Might help those still looking to see what works in real life!

  10. Louise Graham Says:

    I’ve been in search of my very Mr Darcy for a number of years, sadly with little success!!

    Reading this blog has really warmed me this morning … I have read it many time .. for what ever reason, today it made me feel warm inside … no idea what that means .. but thank you!xx

  11. Shaz’ Stars interviews author Bonnie Trachtenberg | Jera's Jamboree Says:

    […] Read her relationship column at http://loveahappyending.com/in-search-of-a-happy-ending-personal-relationships/ […]

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